OMG BLOCK.. straight into hell

Sometimes in the heat of the moment when you are trying to rant about anything in particular nothing comes to mind. It actually makes you more frustrated and rant-able to succumb to writers block than to just go with the flow. This may seem illogical however if you actually had logic of your own, based on the title of this rant you would be able to infer the fact that i had writers block and so it is logical that the more block i get the longer i can go on typing random logical sentences that have no meaning whatsoever and yet at the same time are more logical than your valedictorian's farewell address at your high school or even college graduation.

This finally brings me to the point to which i wanted to discuss all along however due to the audience's lack of knowledge i had to spend another 5 minutes of my life explaining how this rant was logical. Enter the world of an oblivious youth...


[teacher] Alright class we are going to do a project on the weather patterns in and around major cities around the world.

[girl] OH OH OH I want to do ROME!

roughly five minutes later having received Rome as her country the girl promptly int erupts groups trying to mooch answers to her questions.
Question 1)where is the city you are studying?

[girl] Does anyone know where Rome is?

[my friend] Rome would definitely be in the Himalayas(with the most outrageous sarcastic tone)

[girl] wow... wouldn't it be really really cold there then? Those Romans must have been really cold wearing nothing but loincloths all year long. I cant believe that even thought they could stand the Himalayas they had trouble holding together all the way to Greece. So lets see it was cold and windy and probably snowed a lot. May bee that's where the story of big foot came from...?

This is where my friend and i flipped we were astonished that a person who was in an honors science class could actually be so illogical and straight up stupid. This was a blow to the whole class who were feeling dragged down by the sheer lack of int elect of this single girl who whole heatedly believed that Rome was in the Himalayas.

We went over to the girl and told her we were just being sarcastic and that it was in Italy. She was completely blown away. My friend and i could barely keep ourselves from crying but we managed to explain that logically it would be impossible to rule from Greece all the way to the Atlantic from a seat of power all the way across India and directly next to the Chinese who by the way happen to invent the greatest things the world has ever seen... such as... THE WANTON, EGG ROLLS, SOCCER, YES THE CHINE ESE ARE CREDITED WITH THE INVENTION OF SOCCER!, they also have ORIGAMI! and damn myself if i cant make a !@$@#%ing paper crane. But anyway the gist of it all is that if your gullible there is no way that you can be logical so stop reading right now because I'm about to post the most logical statement in the world that should you not have enough logic to understand has made people kill themselves...

Ben's brutal conclusion:

GIRLS GO TO JUPITER TO GET MORE STUPIDER
GUYS GO TO VENUS TO GET A BIGGER PENIS!

... and you know were gullible people go....?

straight into hell

Learn When To Stop....It's Logical

This morning in my homeroom, a girl (who will remain nameless) was feeling rather down on herself because of how her sports match went the day before. A guy in my homeroom decides to probe the issue and it looked like the girl was about to punch him in the face. Let's travel back in time...

Guy: So how'd your [sports] match go yesterday?

Girl: Don't worry about it

Guy: You lost, didn't you?

Girl: I said just let it go.

Guy: Isn't Tuscarora supposed to suck? You guys must not be that good...

Girl: *Look of pure hatred*

Me: *Scoots the fuck back*

Basically all you have to remember is that when someone tells you to drop something while looking at you like they're about to knock you the fuck out...you should probably just drop. That's the Logical thing to do.

Tyler's Game Break: If you find yourself in the middle of World War 2 fighting off Nazis...you're probably playing one of the 28203958209485902384902486 million games that are out there.

LOGICAL IDEA!!!!

This is coming from an outside source with me, Tyler. We have invented a brand new soup that includes all the ingredients that will leave you drooling in satisfaction!


GODO SOUP!!!!

You need shrimp, steak, and chicken, all cooked to your liking. After all of those meat ingredients are cooked, please keep them in a warm area so they stay, well....warm.


After that, heat up nacho cheese in a large bowl. After the cheese is done heating up, dump your meat ingredients into the cheese and enjoy the fantastical soup that is GODO SOUP!

We suggest you eat it with a fork. Also, do not eat the nacho cheese. It is merely a dip for your meat that's inside of it. It should also be served with nachos so that you can have nachos and cheese when you are done with the meat.


This is copyrighted by Tyler Horton and Jonas Scotton.

Tyler's Game Break: Best quote from a video game character goes to Dom from Gears of War with: "Sup Bitches?!"

American Idol.. American Reality TV or USSR conspiracy?

So once again we hit the boards alone with out the Logic partner with a topic thats heavily debated by the government of the united states. Thats right! Bush knows all about it. Havent you noticed that Ryan Seecrest is kinda metro. Ok take that back WAY metro. Anyone ever watch the "Rocky" film with the crazy Russian? Yea, you cant deny that that bro, had he not been so jacked up on the roids that his balls were in his throat, would have been metro. I mean look at how good of shape he keeps his body in. And then the hair HOLY SHIT its so blonde he could have been reese witherspoon from the movie. The blonde hair and blue eyes characteristic to females... and apparently hitler's pets and russians SCREAMS METRO!

Your all probably lost right about now but thats why this RANT is made for those ith the logical capacity to understand! And if you cant see the metro-metro similarity bewteen Ryan and the CRAZY RUSSIAN then you shouldnt be anywhere near this post let alone allowed in side the logic lounge! This will prove that Seecrest is working for the USSR to take over the US through our obsession with Reality TV.

Ben's Brutal Conclusion: Stop watching American Idol before you are reeled in by the USSR's mind control TV! OR GET OUT OF MY COUNTRY!

Harry Potter = The Pope

Only Tyler here for this post, but let me tell you, it's going to be a doozy. Using my intuitive logical reasoning, I have been able to prove that Harry Potter is, in fact, the pope. There are three key reasons to prove this statement.

REASON 1: We've all seen the pope. We've all seen the pope wearing the pope hat. Looks suspiciously like a wizard's hat eh? If that doesn't convince you, it's the mear fact that he's wearing the hat to hide that lightning bolt scar that he has on his forhead.

REASON 2: I know what you're saying by now. "But Tyler, what about how we change popes every odd number of years?" Well, I've thought of that. If you've ever read the books, you know about Harry's multiple encounters with a certain "Polyjuice Potion". He has an unlimited supply inside the pope hat.

REASON 3: If you aren't convinced by now, then this last reason should EASILY convince you. Everyone knows Jesus. Even if you aren't a part of the catholic faith, you should know the suave guy that got on the cross for our sins. Let me tell you, there is no way that ONE man, the pope, would be able to convince so many people of the catholic faith that this "Mr. Jesus" character existed. Using magic is blasphemous if I remember correctly. Hypocrites!

Tyler's Game Break: Don't pay for a PS3!

The Devil Makes Shitty Movies

After sitting down and actually making the mistake of watching "The Devil Wears Prada" (There's no Devil), I find myself thinking of comitting mass murder. Sitting next to my logic partner in crime, we'll be discussing how shitty this movie REALLY was.

Tyler: So I made the mistake of watching this yesterday...

Ben: Definitely a mistake

Tyler: Have you even seen it?

Ben: Nope, and I don't plan on it.

Tyler: Then how can you even have comments about the shittyness of the movie?

Ben: The title pretty much gives it away. Prada is the part where I thought the movie would lose me. Prada being fashion. Man being a person that's not fashionable. In turn, Man that's not Prada.

Tyler: That has to be the most retarded thing I've ever heard in my life...IT'S GENIUS.

Ben: Well, I can't say that the cast choice was the best. I always pictured Anne Hat as that retarded princess chick, that is, until I saw Havoc.

Tyler: We're talking about "The Devil Wears Prada"

Ben: Yea, yea, yea, I know, but I'm just saying, "Havoc" was her best performance by far. She was hot as shit in that movie.

Tyler: Stay on topic. Anyway, this shitacular borefest could be because of my shallow point of view on Chick-Flicks. Well, it's a great thing that this site is for extreme bias and disregards any "feelings" that our readers might have.

Ben's Brutal Ruling: For the men that read...don't waste your time. You will end up kicking yourself in the face for watching this chick flick. Women...go for gold. Women love prada. Devil WEARS prada. Therefore, women love the Devil's fashion sense. Go rent this movie...now.

Tyler's Game Break: Play more World of Warcraft. That is all.